You know what the problem is with American women these days? Somewhere along the line they got to thinking that they were, you know, people. Equals, even. They started acknowledging their own desires and setting their own standards; they began to direct their own lives and choose who would be a part of them.

Clearly, we’ve been spoiled.

One company offers a “solution”: mail-order brides who are beautiful, significantly younger, educated [and] unspoiled by feminism.

That’s what a real man wants; a woman who:
- is perdy
- is wrinkle-free
- has an Eastern European education
- thinks of herself as a second-class citizen, and
- wants a one-way ticket out of her country - and is willing to marry herself off to get it.

Ladies, you can have him.

The real tragedy in all this is that these women live in a world in which they feel their best option is to be plucked off a website and shipped away to a foreign country to marry a complete stranger - someone who’s probably paying a few grand for a good-looking wife who will clean the dishes with a smile on her face and do as she’s told.

And all this is marketed as “true love.”

Ugh.

Beware of impaired judgment.

Mr Kerkhof’s adventure began when he’d had a few drinks, and decided to take a stroll on the Louth Bay jetty.

He was chatting to a couple of fishermen who were after a catch of squid when a 1.3 metre bronze whaler shark began chasing their squid lures.

With the shark keeping the squid away, and no means of removing the problem, Mr Kerkhof told ABC News that he decided he could help.

“I said to them, we’ll just see if we can lure it into the shallows a bit and I’ll jump in and grab him”, he said.

Mr Kerkhof explained how he stripped off his clothing, climbed down a ladder on the jetty and began to stalk the shark into shallow water, slowly sneaking up behind it.

This is a bronze whaler shark:

Credit Rob Hughes
And this is Phillip Kerkhof…

Credit ABC Online  One would think this would have turned out badly for Mr. Kerkhof. However, he actually managed to sneak up on the shark (how you “sneak up” on an aquatic predator, I’ll never know), catch it with his bare hands, climb up the ladder with shark in tow, and throw it onto the jetty. All while buck-naked and drunk on vodka.

“When I sobered up I thought about it and I said you know ‘I’m a bit of an idiot doing it’… it’s amazing what vodka does…”

A Tennessee legislator, Stacey Campfield (go on, try to guess his party affiliation), is pushing a bill to require death certificates for aborted fetuses. The reason?

To “see how many lives are being ended out there by abortions.”

O rly? The Office of Vital Records already keeps public abortion records. The difference between those records and the proposed death certificates is telling - fetal death certificates would reveal the identities of the women who undergo abortions.

And of course, only aborted fetuses count. Does it really matter that 10-25% of clinically-recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage? Maybe, but see, you can’t blame sluts and feminists for those.

Over the last three years, Pro-life Across America has made a lot of these billboards with babies on them - 28 of them, to be exact. But billboards with embryos on them? Not one. Apparently it’s much easier to market the falsehood that embryos are babies when you show a lot of babies and absolutely no embryos. I thought I’d help the pro-lifers out and do my part to even the score:

Pro-life Disclaimer: No embryos were used to save the lives of the terminally ill in the making of this billboard.

Last saturday, a 21-year-old woman was raped in Tampa, Florida. She managed to escape and called 911. The police took her to a hospital and began a rape investigation, and the young woman was given the first dose of the “morning-after pill” and a prescription for the remaining pills. She had no way of knowing that she would be hauled off to jail and denied access to the remainder of the medication.

When the police ran a background check on the young woman, they found that there was a warrant out for her arrest.

It was from an arrest when the woman was a juvenile and she was accused of not paying restitution. The woman says she was not aware there was a warrant out for her, and her attorney says it appears to be a paperwork error.

“They were more interested in prosecuting her for something that’s a paperwork snafu from four years ago, that was juvenile. They were more interested in working on that than finding an experienced rapist,” stated the victim’s mother.

Still, the woman was put in handcuffs and taken to jail. She was not allowed bond, and the medical staff at the jail refused to give her the Morning After Pill even though it had been prescribed at the hospital.

“The system as a whole, that is so broken, it needs to be completely fixed, so broken, so broken that something like this could happen, something like this should never have happened,” said the victim’s mother.

The victim did manage to finally bond out of jail Monday afternoon. She was too emotionally distraught to speak with the media.

If this disturbed you as much as it disturbed me, please take action!

Mooninite bombs found under bridges throw Boston into panic, a refrigerated duck comes back from the dead, and a Canadian town reminds its immigrants to not stone women to death in public, burn them alive, or throw acid on them.

It’s been an interesting few days, eh?

With this woman.

65-year-old Nell Hamm fought off a mountain lion with a branch and a ballpoint pen when it attacked and pinned her husband, Jim, towards the end of the couple’s 10-mile hike.

Nell Hamm did all the right things. She approached and screamed at the lion. Then she grabbed a branch and began beating it on its back.

“It wouldn’t let go, no matter how hard I hit it,” she said in an interview at Mad River Community Hospital Thursday, where her husband was in intensive care recovering from surgery.

Jim Hamm, who was trying to tear at the face of the cat, told his wife to grab a pen from his pocket and stab the cat in the eyes. She did, but the pen broke.

“That lion never flinched,” she said. “I just knew it was going to kill him.”

Nell Hamm picked up the branch again and this time slammed it butt-end into the cat’s snout. The lion had ignored her until then. Finally, she had its attention. The cat stepped back, and glared at her with its ears pinned back.

Mrs. Hamm feared that the mountain lion would attack her, but it instead retreated back into the forest. Mr. Hamm is receiving medical care for his injuries.

Wow.